Writing Hell

I need to rant. I’m not even joking, and since my best friend Is thousands of miles away, I’m going to do it here. This is in the hopes that’ll I’ll feel better after I’m done so picture me yelling every single word of this, but in my mind… of course. I’m not crazy. Yet.

In the past year I have written more than 200,000 words, and almost three novels. Through it all, I’ve had bad times and good times, but never have I felt so angry in my entire life. I have an academic essay I have been writing for the last 3 weeks and it’s due today. No panic, I’m almost done, but my God! I cannot count how many times I had the thought. “I feel like I’m dying.” as I worked through it.

Guess what? the essay is just 3,000 words. I have written 10,000 words for my novel in hours and I’ve been tormented for 3,000 over three weeks, and for a cause I don’t even care about. Is this fair, I ask. It is not. I am a writer, and I love it, but it is obvious that when it comes to academic essays, there’s no greater hell for me.

*Takes a deep breath and returns back to proof reading the essay from hell.*

The Miracle of Now

Hello dear readers,

It’s 5:30 am in lancaster, but for the last two hours, i’ve been in New York.  Last night I was in Scotland int the 17th century and today, who knows where I’ll be? Lol. I was watching Carrie Bradshaw write and express through writing and last night I joined Diana Gabaldon as she did the same. I’ve never really thought about why I love writing so much but today, this morning, I’ve come close to figuring it out.

Watching the outlander series by Diana last night, one thing that struck was how much back then, people spoke with their eyes. A ten seconds stare could be more than enough to express beyond what words could, exactly what you wanted someone to know, but were too afraid to say. How you want them to feel. And as I watched, I kept on thinking, how today, we’ve lost that to a lot of things.

And I repeat… Things. Like phones and iPads and TV, when back then, they weren’t so occupied. When was the last time you looked into someone’s eyes when you were talking to them, and actually tried to be present. To focus on whatever they were saying, or not saying… To be aware of exactly where you where… How bright was the sun that filtered through the window… How different was the air from yesterday… Did you even notice it?

Our world is so fast nowadays that to calm yourself enough to just listen, and observe, and communicate, doesn’t occur to anyone. Instead we’re thinking of the million and one things we have to do,and the million and one things we have to say. The future and the past, but never the present. And do you know what the funniest things is? Right at this moment, right at this second…

The present is all we have

That is what writing does for me. That is what stories do for me. Without them, I sincerely believe as human beings that, we will be lost. We would have no sense of direction, no foundation or pillar to hold us down. Stories slow you down, and take you into a place you otherwise would never have known. They make you feel, and think and wonder,… And laugh, and cry, and smile, and just be amazed, at how complex and simple, the world truly is.

Stories I think, are one of the most powerful things in the world, because just like music, they slow you down… And bring you back to what really matters. Your ability to think and feel and wonder at the miracle, that is now.

 

 

Reviews and TBR (To Be Read)

Hello guys….

I promised a review on this book and here I am with it. Don’t worry about spoilers  I couldn’t finish it so I don’t really know what happened. Anyway, I went to YouTube to check out what other people thought of the book and was shocked, really. The good part is that a lot of people like it…it’s currently on the NYT bestsellers series list. Apparently it’s indulging and intriguing and freaky. So I recommend you all try it out. It’s worth a try or two. Maybe it’s because I’m a writer so I know how hard it is to write a book not to talk of publishing one, so I can’t really say everything I felt about it. However, it is my blog, and irrespective of my incredible respect for anyone crazy enough to write a book, I will say this.

I could not, get through this book.

Maybe it’s because I’m picky, but for someone who loves books, I was bored out of my mind. Especially in my ‘change mangement’ class when I decided to catch up on it. I read a few lines from where I had left off and closed it in anger. It was like shooting yourself in the head to cancel out the poison that was already running through your system. Like somehow, the two death acts would cancel out themselves…

Forgive the awkward metaphor, but this was exactly what I thought in class. The poison was the class itself and the book a loaded pistol. Anyway that wasn’t too harsh, I hope. One thing that irked me so much was the word play in the writing. The dialogue felt so unreal and in almost every scene I found myself asking… “Do people actually talk like this in real life?”

Then it was clogged down with cliches and the book after 200+ pages didn’t seem like it was going anywhere. But when I watched reviews on you tube, a lot of people thought it was beyond fascinating so please, don’t pay attention to me. Anyway, I thought to get through it because for a writer, reading is a job as well as a hobby, and in every book, you learn something. I picked it up this evening intending to finish it once and for all but I just couldn’t read another word, despite the rave.

So that’s it for me. I still recommend you try it because again , everyone is different.  So you might like it but I have to give my eyes a rest now from all the eye rolling I’ve subjected them to. I feel bad for saying all this because again, I know how hard it is to write but that’s my honest review. And it’s just the surface of what I thought…. An in depth sharing would be too brutal.

 

Anyway my next read is outlander by Diana Gabaldon and I want to say that this is an incredibly beautiful cover. Incredibly beautiful. Incredibly… I cannot stress that enough. Again, from book tubers I got the recommend. Specifically ‘abookutopia’ and she really helped me. This is because I’ve picked up this book numerous times and despite the rave, have never been able to get through it. She admitted too that the first 200 pages where difficult to get through but from then onwards the the book was a blast. So I’m happy and now willing to get past those pages so that finally, I can be entertained.

Sighs. I miss those twilight days when I literally shook on my chair from reading. The writing wasn’t all that but I was thoroughly entertained. I cared and felt and loved. And I cried, and laughed and shivered. Yup…that’s all I need in a book, irrespective if how it’s written and none have come close since then. Except some of Julie Garwoods novels and merlin- but that’s a tv show.

Anyway thanks and till next time.  As always you’re more than welcome to share your thoughts, especially if you’ve read any of the above mentioned books.

Crazy Query

Guys, today I’m bringing you the query I’m going to send to agents. In my proprietary opinion, it’s almost crazy but you know,… don’t know what else to do. I’ve written so many and read so many tips and seen so many examples, but at the end of the day, none seems right to me. It’s either there’s too much detail, or there’s not enough, or I’m not sure which is going to strike the right chord or which is going turn the agent off. Guys, I’m tired, so I’ve decided to go rogue.

Seriously I don’t advise any one of you to do this, as a query is supposed to be all traditional and polished but I just can’t produce one that I believe in enough. So I’m doing what feels right…lol. and fun. If it works, trust me you all will be the first to know. Here goes. I’d love to here your thoughts.

P.S: For those of you who don’t know a query is like a proposal you send to a literary agent. If they like it, they agree to represent you and then send your work to publishers. If they like you….BAM! you’re published. It sounds simple but trust me… crossing the Atlantic ocean in a bucket is probably easier. I’m not even joking.

Dear Agent,

The beyond reason trilogy is an exhaustive romantic escapism, and given your interest in YA, I thought that it might be a good addition to your list. It tells the exhilarating tale of harebrained American – Lenora Grace Baker- and Utopian Portuguese –Nathan Alexandre Roque- as they meet in Lancaster Castle Academy; an elite boarding school in North West England. I have written and re-written queries to suit this book but nothing seems okay to me, and it’s not because I’m not a good enough writer. I’m too much of a perfectionist.

So, I’ve taken an extract from the book for you to go through. If it interests you then please, ask for the rest and if not, thanks for your time.

“What are you saying?” I cried out softly, my panic, evident on the edges. He took a deep breath and held my gaze even more deeply. I had moved forward without realizing it and was now only standing a few feet from him.

“I’m saying that this is not the right time for us.”

“Why?” I asked my voice laced with hurt.

“We already have too many battles, and there will be so many more that we’ll have to fight on the way and, none of them, will be worth it.”

“It will be.” I argued and saw the moment he decided to try to make me understand. I didn’t wait for him.

“…. And you can say whatever you want to but the fact still remains that, you’re not willing to try.”

“That’s my point.” He said in harsh tone and rose to his feet. “I don’t want to try when there’s a very huge chance that we might not work. In fact we won’t work, because we’re still too young and uncertain. Neither of us completely knows where we’re going yet and until we do, I am not willing to gamble away the one thing I do know that I want.”

I snorted. “You’re just being selfish.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think I’m being, because in time, you’ll come to see the truth of what I’m saying. We’re not going to be together and then fail; I’ll never recover from that. I won’t want to recover from that so I’m going to hold out, until I can be the very best for you.”

“You’re pretty good now.” I said and he managed the driest laugh I’d ever heard.

“That’s what you’d like to believe but I can assure you, I’m a mess, and so are you.”

Complete at 75,000 words, the first book- DAZED- tells the story of how they deal with their unbelievable attraction for each other and the challenges that come with it until they’re drastically separated at the end of the book. They meet, twelve years later and in the second book –CLAIMED- where they have to decide on how to proceed; Submit to the still mind-boggling craze for each other or choose to cling to past hurts and go their different ways.”

The third book – MADE- I will begin writing as soon as I get representation for the first two. Sample chapters are in the body of this email, per your submission guidelines. Thank you for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Absolutely Unusual Writer.

Updates and Poetry

Hello again and also today, a short post is intended . Let’s hope it stands.

Today I bring you a poem from a darling friend of mine. We’re writers together in the race to become authors and that, I expect all around the world should be sufficient reason enough to totally love someone…lol. Any way I’ll be posting one of hers down below and some more I expect as time goes by. So if you read them feel free to drop a comment or two, on ways she can improve or offer  a critique even. 😊

Next on todays agenda is an update on my reading of ‘the unbcoming of Mara Myers’- the book I started a few days ago. I’m more than halfway in and its not because I’m a slow reader.

The problem is that I am an indisciplined reader and a student. That means that I have started on another novel in the last few days- Prep by Curtis Sittenfield- thereby tripling my workload.

And also have an essay due that has literally turned me into a sleep deprived zombie plus an exam this Friday. So you see, I’m not lazy at all.￣ˍ￣

Anyway I’ll be able to finish the unbecoming soon and I’ll post that review but i will say this for now. Only a few books have been able to make me not care about looming essay deadlines or other titles. They’ve made me throw caution  to the wind with the belief that my completing them will be fundamental to my happiness. Yes, they have been that good. But unfortunately ‘the unbecoming’ is not one of them. More on that soon.

Cheers.

The distant river by Uyi

You hear the sounds so far away,

The sounds of tumultuous waves

Beating over smooth stones,

Giving and taking away from shore.

You hear the occasional roar of thunder,

Crackling and frightening

Troubling the still waters

Angering the waves…

And when the moon, in her full glory

Comes out to play

She calls out her undersea friends;

The game fishes and the eager mermaids

And they dance round and round

Till ripples become the moon’s reflection.

Course correction

Hello everyone….💃

So it’s been ages since I’ve actually written here, at least I feel like it has and it’s not because I’ve been lazy. Far from that. I’ve actually been so preoccupied and so have had very little to say.  Anyway today, I come with updates.

Drumroll……

I can’t find the emoticon for that so I say – Trumpet blare…. 🎺 Hehe

Anyway this blog post is going to be really short because I have a ton of work to do. So first of all I’ve been considering self publishing and actually actively working towards it for a December release but I’m happy to announce that as of today, I have decided not to.

I mentioned in my last post that until I got the final confirmation I wouldn’t venture into that and today I did because I finally slowed down from all the work and deadlines and editing and writing and research and bookcover designs and school project and sleepless nights and all those things that have  generally started to make writing almost seem like a nightmare to me.

I got the intended bookcover designs this morning and although it was fantastic, i realized suddenly that this wasn’t what I wanted. I mean self publishing is a fantastic idea but as of now I’m putting a stop to my plan towards it. I sat down today and for the first time in weeks examined my heart because it always has the right answers for me and I finally realized what it had been trying to tell me all along

“you need to be patient.”

So that’s exactly what I’m going to do and I’m so excited about it because I have two books that I’m going to start writing before this year runs out and two others that I’m going to be editing and I cannot wait. So I’m going to still be working my ass off but not for marketing strategies for my books but on being a better writer, writing more stories, and reading more books. And I have so missed reading because I have not had the breathing space or time to do that. Now I can and whilst I am living and doing my possible best I am going to start querying agents because that is the path I should be on.

I remember I said this post was going to be short, but oh well. Pardon me. This decision is based on the fact that even though something might look right (self pub) it is not always the best for you because there is only so much I can see from the bottom of the mountain. God is at the top of the mountain so he sees all and when he says “baby, slow down, I’ll get you a publisher.” that is exactly what I’m going to do.

So today I feel at peace once again because this contemplation that has been constantly raging in my head for weeks has finally been sorted out. I literally almost freaked out in class today because I could not stop thinking about it and so now I’m beginning my return to course by reading this book.

It is the first in a trilogy by Michelle Hodkin and I have read fantastic reviews about it. I am so excited because it’s the first time in so long that I’m actually going to slow down enough to enjoy my everyday moments. I’ll let you guys know how it is. So in essence I’m going to still be working as hard as I have been but towards being traditionally published and I cannot believe how lighthearted I feel by this decision. It confirms it’s truth to me. So that’s me for today.  As for tonight I have about five queries to send out, a book to continue editing and a second to finish. Then I’ll start on this book just before I go to bed which if you’re wondering is usually at 5am. Yup…. Success has it’s price. Anyway bye and see you soon.

Cheers and as always you’re absolutely welcome to leave your thoughts and comments down below. 😍😊

Till next time my sweets and remember; “always stay true to your heart because it always knows the right way to go.”